Rant

I don't know but sometimes I feel like I've gotta be okay. Like it's wrong to be sad and upset and all. Like when people ask me if I'm fine, I've got to say 'yeah I'm fine'. It's as if being happy is the right way to be. Yes I know we should all be happy and positive but is it WRONG to feel hurt? I want to let myself be able to be sad cause it's what I'm really feeling right now but I'm scared if I let myself do that, I won't be able to cheer up.

I WANT to be okay. I want to be able to say that everything's fine and that I'm fine. But I'm not. And I can't. When people tell me to cheer up, I just smile and say thanks but inside it doesn't get any better. I really appreciate those who have cared for me. I genuinely do. And the best part is that I caused all of this myself. Stupid? Yeah I think so.

What makes it worse is not that it didn't turn out the way I would have liked it to, (Okay I expected the outcome but it still sucks yknow) but because every night I dream that it DID work out and I have to face the cruel realization every morning. My ankle needs to recover soon so that I can start exercising and take my mind of these things.

They say 'time will heal all wounds'. I really hope it does. For the meantime, I'm just gonna stay positive and try not to think about this. Things will get better. I hope. Okay this ends my rant (although no one reads this anyway)

And I permed my hair yesterday. At least something to brighten up my day ^^

Happy Easter Sunday :D