My Buddies

This is a little outdated but I met Jeff and Nic last Sunday and GOSH I HAVEN'T SEEN THEM FOR SO LONG :'( we were suppose to meet at 3 but Nic wanted to push it earlier to 2.30. In the end we were all late so it still stuck to 3 hahaha. We went to cine leisure and had tea and spent quality time catching up with each other. (Being in different schools from these two really suck :( )

Huge mango ice :D

Then we walked into Lacoste and saw this huge mirror and couldn't pass up the chance to take a picture haha gosh my sock tan line is horrible.

Nic and I hijacked Jeff's phone and this is what we did.

And this. Nic has this thing about smiling with his eyes closed so I played along.

And now with our eyes WIDE OPENNN

We look cool in caps B) sorry Jeff I didn't take the one you were in cause Nic and I look better here

And finally one with Jeffsie.

Nic and his neon pink shirt. And his new signature smile. 

My gang

And EWF for dinz nomnomnom hehe

And that pretty much ends my holidays. What's a better way to spend the last day or relaxation before school starts heh. 

This is why my class is awesome.

So...my GP didn't come for tutorial last Thursday so we spent the hour doing nothing but taking random shit photos heh.

Joseph HAHAHAHA

Please excuse our unglam-ness

Asyraf's face: priceless

Another one of Asyraf's priceless expressions

Finally a proper photo with joseph (almost)

Asyraf's face again HAHAHAHA and Jan too

Attempted group shot. but failed cause this obviously isn't really the group

Ahaha much better but not all of us are in :(

It's so difficult to get a proper nice picture with these guys at the back -.-

The 'what the hell' face

Optical illusions (close enough)

With my favourite girl.

I actually really like this picture.

Kajol's face hahaha

Planking #likeaboss

Naveen's attempt to make his hair stand HAHA 

Then we got bored and started vandalising Joseph's hand

And he's so chill about it

I drew the cupcake heh. And if you look closely you can see Jan and I's attempt to use his hand for our campaign for house council HAHA

Kajol's masterpiece. And another attempt to campaign for House Council hahaha

BROMANCE

And this. This is too hilarious I just had to post it HAHAHA SORRY ASYRAF. 

ANYWAY to whoever sees this and is from LoyFatt, VOTE JANESSA AND VALERIE FOR 14TH HOUSE COUNCIL HAHA THANKS!! WE'RE L3 AND L4 RESPECTIVELY.

Rant

I don't know but sometimes I feel like I've gotta be okay. Like it's wrong to be sad and upset and all. Like when people ask me if I'm fine, I've got to say 'yeah I'm fine'. It's as if being happy is the right way to be. Yes I know we should all be happy and positive but is it WRONG to feel hurt? I want to let myself be able to be sad cause it's what I'm really feeling right now but I'm scared if I let myself do that, I won't be able to cheer up.

I WANT to be okay. I want to be able to say that everything's fine and that I'm fine. But I'm not. And I can't. When people tell me to cheer up, I just smile and say thanks but inside it doesn't get any better. I really appreciate those who have cared for me. I genuinely do. And the best part is that I caused all of this myself. Stupid? Yeah I think so.

What makes it worse is not that it didn't turn out the way I would have liked it to, (Okay I expected the outcome but it still sucks yknow) but because every night I dream that it DID work out and I have to face the cruel realization every morning. My ankle needs to recover soon so that I can start exercising and take my mind of these things.

They say 'time will heal all wounds'. I really hope it does. For the meantime, I'm just gonna stay positive and try not to think about this. Things will get better. I hope. Okay this ends my rant (although no one reads this anyway)

And I permed my hair yesterday. At least something to brighten up my day ^^

Happy Easter Sunday :D

That's just..life.

We always want the thing we can't have.
We always like the things that are bad for us.
We want to keep the things that hurt us the most.
We love the people who don't love us.
That's just human I guess.

I don't know why I did it. But it really does feel a lot better. At least there's some closure now and I'm not left over thinking things again. I mean yeah it sucks. It really does. I haven't cried in so long but honestly, it felt good to. To just let out everything. I expected it, well then maybe I don't have a right to be sad. But there's was that tiny glimmer of hope that I had. I guess I can let it down now. Maybe things will change, okay actually definitely. Things always change. But for better or for worse..we'll see I guess. But I appreciate honesty. So thank you :')

For now, life goes on, sad or not.

And things will get better. They always do :)

:'(

It's really sad how people change. Like after some time, they start to realise you're not what they thought you were and you start to drift. Well, it's just sad that people drift. Maybe it was just me over thinking everything. Yeah probably. But still....sobs. :'(

Cross Country 2013

So today was SAJC's Care to Run 2013. I was honestly kinda looking forward to it (which is quite shocking, even to me, cause I've never went for my sec school's school events. Like ever. Maybe once or twice in the 4 years) and it turned out to be a pretty amazing day. We were late in the morning but all was fine and no one really cared that we were like 20 mins late. Kajol and I couldn't run cause of injuries so we just wandered around and lepak-ed everywhere. (And then awkward moments came every now and then but they were good awkward moments so I'm not complaining haha) sigh looks like I'll never pick up that courage that I need so badly. :(

      After the boys came back from the different runs. And Kajol and I looking all glam and not tired cause we didn't even walk more than 100m from where we were. (Too bad Naveen didn't appear in the picture. His epicness needs to be seen by the world) and also Kisshan and Asyraf had to pon today. It would have been so much more fun with them :(

And we were bored so......

Then we went to Macs for breakfast/lunch. Which was when Kajol discovered I make the weirdest noises when ____'s around and decided to test it, right there, at the worst timing ever. Andddddd that's my new found friend Shruti at the left. She's like a little ball of sunshine HAHAHA

The walk to the underpass is no joke man. Next time let's have Cross Country nearer to the underpass or well, nearer to civilization. My legs are so damn sore now.

And that pretty much sums up today. And it's time for me to sleep soon. It was a pretty awesome day I would say. Great people, good (not very good) food, no lessons. This is the life. Haha except for the fact that there's so much on my mind right now, I'm so confused. If only I could just go up to you and say hi. But noooo my weakling of a heart won't let me. It's okay I'll just be a coward forever.

Tomorrow will be a better day :) there's always a rainbow after a storm. 

Dreams.

I've always dreamt of opening a cafe in Europe. Just a small cosy cafe in front of a fountain. If I was given a choice, I wouldn't be in JC right now. I'd be doing baking and culinary science, then moving on to be a patisserie (or however you spell it) then migrate to Europe and start a life there. Well I guess we don't always get out way. But my dream doesn't stop here. After university, I'm going to work hard and save money then begin doing what I've always loved-baking. Somehow I just want to get away from Singapore. Not that I don't like it here, not that there aren't people here that I love and would want to stay for, but there's just something about being abroad that makes me feel more..liberated I guess.

But well, that's a long term dream. For now, I'd give anything to lay under the stars and just have a nice talk with someone. (With popcorn) To just let out everything.

And just to end off, here are the homemade brownies made today.

Lazy day

Spent the perfect lazy day at Clarissa's today literally doing..nothing. Except spending too long making dinner haha. I've decided to let my pictures do the talking today since I'm too lazy (and emotionally tired) to type it all out.

View from the sofa while I was nua-ing, playing Candy Crush (which is currently ruining my life)

Mussels in the ovennnnn

Mussels out of the ovennnnn hahaha so awesome

Clarissa's special garlic butter along with other messy stuff on the table

Aaannnndddddd the pasta goes in

TAADAAAAAA PASTAAAA HAHA

and a random picture of my face :)

Tea break-my childhood ice cream. Doesn't get better than this.

Not like my sore throat and cough would get any better.

and our masterpiece (round 1)

our masterpiece (round 2)

yes another ice cream to end the day. (along with half a bar of Cadbury cause I believe it's valid to binge when I'm upset. Argument accepted)

And that pretty much sums up the day. Still waiting for a miracle to happen though. But if it doesn't, then..life goes on. Nothing I can do anyway right? I've tried. Maybe it was a little too late. Maybe it was fated to be too late. Alrighty time to finally get some studying done. 

If only it was that easy

Writing another song. Feels good after laying off my guitar for awhile. I guess the inspiration comes more often when shit happens. There's just more to pour out, and the lyrics just keep coming. And it makes me feel better..so why not.

I'd give anything to read your mind right now. So would you just do me a favour and give me some closure?

(I bet you forgot)