Had a good H2H yesterday, and it really got me thinking. About a lot of things. Did I make the right decision back then? I don't know. I'll never know. I guess I just gotta make the best out of the present now. There's nothing I can do to change the past anyway. Sure, scars would be left, but those would just remind me of the lessons I learnt throughout these 17 years.
(This part may be boring so whoever's reading this can just skip it. Provided there are people reading haha) So...Kim Jong Kook's in Singapore now. And it's an hour away from his fanmeet at IMM. Before all you non-kpoppers judge, there's a reason why I like his songs so much. YES, his SONGS. They're so full of emotion and meaning. His songs accompanied me through a very difficult phase of my life last year, and gave me strength. There's this song called 'Men are all like that', that I really love. Being a guy himself, he's able to convey the message on how guys are all (mostly) the same.
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Men are all like that, I wouldn’t be any different.
I valued you at first but then I left you.
Men are all like that, I wouldn’t be any special.
I had all of your heart but then I left.
Men are all like that.
Women are all like that, you wouldn’t be any different.
You knew my heart but you hoped that I’d return.
Women are all like that, you wouldn’t be any special.
You knew it wasn’t but hoped that I would be your last.
Women are all like that
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So it's an hour till his fanmeet. And I'm not going. Somehow it doesn't feel right having to pay to see him. His songs mean so much to me, I feel that I should just keep them to myself. It wouldn't make a difference whether I see him or not (I guess) alright in case I sound like a crazy fan-girl, I shall stop here.
So... Touch rugby trials were yesterday. Oh gosh I hope I didn't screw it up too badly. (Please let me get in) and also I realized how shitty my stamina and fitness was...so time to gym tomorrow!!
Chem physics and math are currently killing me. Anyone wants to give my free tuition? It'd be greatly appreciated hahaha.
Alrighty time to study now. (or at least attempt to) goodbye world.
Friday, February 22, 2013
Monday, February 18, 2013
13S09
Class 2013, Science, 9th class. 13S09.
Honestly, it feels weird being in this class, being in SA. Looks like I need more getting used to. I miss 4DL. I miss my friends, my buddies. I miss the jokes the guys liked to make, the times they would irritate the hell out of our teachers. I just miss 4DL'2012. (Not that 13S09 is a bad class)
Somehow, I find myself getting closer to my class now. I guess playing monopoly deal at the student lounge and basketball under the scorching sun actually helped us bond as a class. Everyday I feel myself getting more attached to this group of people, and my new found friend, Kajol. I can say the people in my class are really nice people, guess some of us have personality clashes so we may not clique as well, but still, we'll never know what'll happen in the future right?
Which brings me to talk about one of my biggest flaws-insecurity.
Yes, I am SUPER INCREDIBLY insecure. And it sucks. It really does. I always feel I'm not good enough, and that the people around me will eventually find out something bad about me and leave. Well, they all do. Most of them anyway. Which is why those who are still close to me, are so very precious to me. I don't know if it's just a normal 'teenage thing'. Hopefully it is though.
Another big flaw I have is becoming too attached to people. It is a horrible thing, I know.
So if you put these two together, bring insecure and too attached, it's the reason I'm afraid to get close to people. I can't bring myself to get close to someone, cause I'll end up hurting myself by somehow pushing the other away unintentionally. Then I lose him/her. It's happen too many times, and now I know how to protect myself. Sounds cliche? Yeah it does, doesn't it? I'm just tired of losing people, especially if it's because of my own flaws.
Alrighty, I've drifted a little too far from the main point of this post-13S09. I honestly hope we can grow as a class and make many memories these two years.
Signing off, V.
Honestly, it feels weird being in this class, being in SA. Looks like I need more getting used to. I miss 4DL. I miss my friends, my buddies. I miss the jokes the guys liked to make, the times they would irritate the hell out of our teachers. I just miss 4DL'2012. (Not that 13S09 is a bad class)
Somehow, I find myself getting closer to my class now. I guess playing monopoly deal at the student lounge and basketball under the scorching sun actually helped us bond as a class. Everyday I feel myself getting more attached to this group of people, and my new found friend, Kajol. I can say the people in my class are really nice people, guess some of us have personality clashes so we may not clique as well, but still, we'll never know what'll happen in the future right?
Which brings me to talk about one of my biggest flaws-insecurity.
Yes, I am SUPER INCREDIBLY insecure. And it sucks. It really does. I always feel I'm not good enough, and that the people around me will eventually find out something bad about me and leave. Well, they all do. Most of them anyway. Which is why those who are still close to me, are so very precious to me. I don't know if it's just a normal 'teenage thing'. Hopefully it is though.
Another big flaw I have is becoming too attached to people. It is a horrible thing, I know.
So if you put these two together, bring insecure and too attached, it's the reason I'm afraid to get close to people. I can't bring myself to get close to someone, cause I'll end up hurting myself by somehow pushing the other away unintentionally. Then I lose him/her. It's happen too many times, and now I know how to protect myself. Sounds cliche? Yeah it does, doesn't it? I'm just tired of losing people, especially if it's because of my own flaws.
Alrighty, I've drifted a little too far from the main point of this post-13S09. I honestly hope we can grow as a class and make many memories these two years.
Signing off, V.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Changes.
Honestly, I couldn't wait to get out of my secondary school. I wanted to go to JC and meet new people, make new friends, start a new life. And well, just be away from those familiar faces. But now, I guess I kinda miss secondary school.
Right now in SA, everything's a blur. I miss having my best friends around me. I miss knowing what to do everyday. I miss the 'constants' I used to have. But now, everything's new. I guess I'm just not used to it.
There's this really weird empty feeling I'm having these few days. I really hope I get over it soon, and find a place in SAJC. I really love the school. The culture, the people, the uniform (heh) and well, just mainly the whole school. I hope I made the right choice. People keep telling me "oh you could have gone to a better school" and "why you want to go SA when you can go VJC or TJC?" I chose SA cause I really like the culture, the fact it's a christian school. I just pray I didn't make the wrong choice.
It's only been 2 weeks since school started. There's such a long way to go as a Saint. Truthfully speaking, I'm really excited about how my SA journey will turn out to be. Oh well, only one way to find out!
Okay off to bed! Goodnight :)
Right now in SA, everything's a blur. I miss having my best friends around me. I miss knowing what to do everyday. I miss the 'constants' I used to have. But now, everything's new. I guess I'm just not used to it.
There's this really weird empty feeling I'm having these few days. I really hope I get over it soon, and find a place in SAJC. I really love the school. The culture, the people, the uniform (heh) and well, just mainly the whole school. I hope I made the right choice. People keep telling me "oh you could have gone to a better school" and "why you want to go SA when you can go VJC or TJC?" I chose SA cause I really like the culture, the fact it's a christian school. I just pray I didn't make the wrong choice.
It's only been 2 weeks since school started. There's such a long way to go as a Saint. Truthfully speaking, I'm really excited about how my SA journey will turn out to be. Oh well, only one way to find out!
Okay off to bed! Goodnight :)
Friday, February 15, 2013
New Start
So I've decided to start this blog again. Not like anyone would read it.. But I just need a space to say things, to let out some steam. So I deleted all the precious posts and now, this marks the beginning of my next course in life.
17. Already. Doesn't really seem real just yet. It's like I was in secondary 1 just yesterday. I feel old, honestly. Hahaha.
Last year was unforgettable. O'level year really drained me. Everyone was so focused on studying and doing well and somehow I turned on my 'mugger mode' as well.
But other than the studying, a lot of memories were created in 2012. I've learnt alot last year.
I've learnt that complacency kills.
I've learnt that hard work DOES pay off.
I've learnt that people aren't what they seem. The people who are the closest to you, just end up hurting you the most. 'Cause I let them in, they know what kills me. And they do. People will turn your weakness against you. And those who you think will never hurt you, will.
I've learnt to let go too. It doesn't make sense holding on to someone/something that doesn't want to stay. Eventually, you'll have to lose it. So I understood what it meant to let go. Especially things/people that hurt me. It hurts at first, then I realize I may be better off without them. Maybe.
So this pretty much sums up 2012 for me. Of course there're the good things as wel. I've learnt who my true friends are, who are those that I can really trust. And I don't really trust anyone now. But I'm thankful for those whose friendships have proven to me that I can trust them.
To 2013, please be good to me.
Love, V.
17. Already. Doesn't really seem real just yet. It's like I was in secondary 1 just yesterday. I feel old, honestly. Hahaha.
Last year was unforgettable. O'level year really drained me. Everyone was so focused on studying and doing well and somehow I turned on my 'mugger mode' as well.
But other than the studying, a lot of memories were created in 2012. I've learnt alot last year.
I've learnt that complacency kills.
I've learnt that hard work DOES pay off.
I've learnt that people aren't what they seem. The people who are the closest to you, just end up hurting you the most. 'Cause I let them in, they know what kills me. And they do. People will turn your weakness against you. And those who you think will never hurt you, will.
I've learnt to let go too. It doesn't make sense holding on to someone/something that doesn't want to stay. Eventually, you'll have to lose it. So I understood what it meant to let go. Especially things/people that hurt me. It hurts at first, then I realize I may be better off without them. Maybe.
So this pretty much sums up 2012 for me. Of course there're the good things as wel. I've learnt who my true friends are, who are those that I can really trust. And I don't really trust anyone now. But I'm thankful for those whose friendships have proven to me that I can trust them.
To 2013, please be good to me.
Love, V.
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